Wednesday, December 28, 2011

America's Teachers Stink Up the Place Again!

I'm a former teacher.  So it's hard to have to face up to the facts about how bad America's teachers really are.  In fact, it can be downright depressing.  Time for a glass of spiked eggnog, I suppose.

Even the liberal New York Times piled on recently, in a story titled "Death Knell for the Lecture:  Technology as a Passport to Personalized Education."

The focus of the story was actually the promise of internet teaching--but to make internet teaching sound like the solution you had to first identify the problem.  In the first paragraph, then, we learned that among developed countries the United States ranked 55th in quality of elementary math and science education, 20th in high school completion rate and 27th in the fraction of college students receiving undergraduate degrees in science or engineering. 

Bad schools and bad teaching, obviously. 

The point was simple:  We needed to replace bad teachers with superior internet lessons.  Or we needed to replace bad teachers with cardboard cutouts or mannequins or maybe lamp posts.  Whatever.  We're 55th among developed nations!

It makes you wonder, though.  What do these kinds of lists actually prove?  I decided to do a little sleuthing. 

If we use the same simple approach, we uncover a variety of chilling problems that demand immediate internet action. Online cops, anybody?  In a recent survey by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development the United States finished dead last (cheap pun absolutely intended), 32nd out of thirty-two advanced nations, when it came to murder rates.  And we're dead last by six feet and a mile.  The Netherlands fell to tenth with one murder per 100,000 population.  Finland finished one step above us, in 31st, with 2.5 murders.  The United States landed in the morgue with 5.2 murders per 100,000 population.

Clearly:  worst cops in the world.

According to another chilling survey we ranked 30th out of thirty advanced nations in obesity rates.  So what do we learn from studying this chart?

We learn that America has absolutely the worst dieticians in the civilized world.  Online dieting advice probably represents the last hope for fat people in the District of Columbia and all the fifty states.

Maybe we should jail more teachers?
Thank god, though, for America's judges!  Clearly the best in the world.  Where do you think we stand in rates of incarceration?  Not 20th, for god sakes, not 27th.  Certainly not 55th.  No!  We're #1.  Liechtenstein has the worst judges, with only 19 people per 100,000 behind bars (you figure their cops must be too inept to catch anyone).  Japan (58) and South Korea (94) beat us in education but their judges are pathetic, and probably need a few internet lessons on how to run an effective justice system.  China?  Failing badly.  Only 122 prisoners.  Mexico?  No good.  Only 200.  Puerto Rico finishes in 35th place (303 prisoners) out of 212 nations; but they're just copying us.  Grenada is #13 with 423, The Seychelles # 6 with 507, and Rwanda is #2 with 595.

Thank god we live in the United States of America, with the best jurists in the world--maybe in the universe!  We lock up 743 people for every 100,000 in population.

That's what simple lists prove--and when I get the first Pulitzer prize ever awarded to a blogger, you can say, "I knew him before he became a famous celebrity and his head got all swelled." 

And the first time I meet Lindsay Lohan at some big Hollywood party, you know what I'm going to say?  "Baby, you need to think seriously about emigrating. Yeah. Liechtenstein would be cool."


For even more chilling statistics please go to:  "Numbers Don't Lie:  Our Teachers (and Doctors) Are Failing." 

If you're a teacher (or a teacher's friend) consider spreading the word about this blog, or becoming a "follower" (not in any cult-like sense). 

I intend to speak for all good teachers whenever I can.

18 comments:

  1. teachers aren't to blame. the general public just doesn't value math, science and other school subjects as much as they value television shows, the internet, and other non-school related things. how many high school graduates do you know who still remember those math theorems from math class?

    the public expects teachers to teach subjects that the public doesnt care about. kids don't want to study because they see their parents and favorite celebrities doing everything except studying.

    now, whether or not this is a good thing is another matter.

    my point is that you shouldn't blame teachers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. performance matters...'good teachers' doesn't mean anything. Only the performance of well intended people matters. Until you start discussing that on your 'teachers know everything cause they are teachers' page, you pose no credibility.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a real bummer...no credibility. I suppose you saw the recent study released by Johns Hopkins that said 5 million American students missed at least a month of school last year (maybe 7.5 million).

      Is that a credible response to your opinion. Or do your opinions negate basic math. I write, in part, to try to show that teachers are not the only problem in education. In fact, most teachers are not a problem at all.

      If my stance irritates, I suggest watching Disney cartoons for you.

      Delete
    2. And you were a teacher? Sorry, but you are exactly what is wrong with the teaching world today, and your posts prove it. Good people are everywhere, but you pose information from the liberal left only. How on earth would that have made you an objective teacher? And to suggest watching disney cartoons?

      Delete
    3. Oops, I thought I was done. Didn't see this one. Same offer, though: want a few hundred letters from former students to help you understand what kind of teacher I was?

      Don't be a coward and say "no." All you have to do is pay copying and postage.

      Delete
  3. A coward wouldn't bash Fox, and other sources of information that oppose their views. A coward wouldn't use sarcasm like their strength. Pretty sad. Perhaps you created a lot of sarcastic edcuated people like yourself, cause their sure are a lot of them out there. Sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Send me your address and a check; I'll send you those letters.

      That's my response to you.

      Delete
    2. I'd prefer sarcastic educated people who (justifiably) bash Fox but know the difference between "there" and "their" to say ... you.

      Delete
  4. Based on what taxpayers have paid for your salary and early retirement, it should be postage paid. No thanks.

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  5. I would say a coward is someone who hides behind the word Anonymous. Keep fighting the good fight John. I will go back to being an inept "good teacher" in September. It's so nice to be valued.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Actually, Meg, it's hard for a lot of people to figure out how to leave a name on this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  7. When you have a choice called 'Anonymous', folks can use that choice. Otherwise, don't have it. You are creating the choice. More teacher bullying on this page. And by the way, isn't it damn cowardly to remove posts on your blog? Kinda like the leftist media, they leave out information at their own best interest, and not what's best for the long term. But what do I know, I'm just a fiscal conservative taxpayer who has had enough of the left.

    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How dense are you? I mean really. Did you read my comment above in reply to what Meg said. How do you manage to post so many stupid comments if you are blind? Braille typing?

      Delete
  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  10. I should point out for the poor deluded fool whose posts I had to start deleting that

    A) I'm an ex-Marine; not some "leftist" (whatever that meant to him)
    B) I was chosen "Educator of the Year" for my building three times (not accepting in 1990, but accepting in 1997 and 2002). The award did not exist before.
    C) I still don't know how he judges my teaching without ever seeing me teach. One of life's right-wing crazy mysteries, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  11. And what gives you the right to judge me? And call posts on your blog crazy? I suggest re-reading your blogs, and how they may be viewed as 'crazy'. You're no different than most high and mighty educators. All you can do is tout some stupid award. Who cares. What matters is performance, values, and character.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hadn't notice--this poor soul came back weeks later and posted another inane comment.

      Delete