These are tough days and nights for Donald J. Trump, GOP candidate for president. Polls indicate his chances of winning are fast fading. His only consolation, and the only consolation of his fans, seems to be “knowledge” that the polls are all rigged.
And if that isn’t enough, Democrats are going to turn out millions of deceased voters for their side. The 2016 election is going to look like an episode of The Walking Dead.
Trump should be winning, as all his loyal supporters know, because Trump says he should and Trump knows he has run a perfect campaign. His fans realize he should actually get 106% of the popular vote, if only the media didn’t hate him so much. They know he won all six debates so far, including the one against Abraham Lincoln. Trump has polls (not rigged!) proving he did. In fact, he was recently chosen “America’s Most Handsome Man” by an unbiased panel of Fox News talking heads. Furthermore, all the Republicans jumping ship, or refusing to board from the start, are part of some nefarious conspiracy.
Four of the last five men to run for president on a GOP ticket say they won’t support Trump George H. W. Bush: 1988, 1992; George W. Bush: 2000, 2004; John McCain, 2008; Mitt Romney, 2012). These men are all terrible people.
Paul Ryan is a scumbag too.
Trump would win all fifty-two states if it weren’t for these traitors.
Considering all the bitter tears being shed, perhaps we might look at a few assorted facts. The same polls Mr. Trump insists are rigged today once showed, during the GOP primaries, that he was always ahead.
Remember those glory days? Remember how, in just about every speech, Trump bragged about his poll numbers?
In those days the polls weren’t rigged!
Well, when did the fix first come in? Consider a few trends that bode well for Hillary Clinton. For some odd reason, Hispanic voters (not illegal immigrants—but living, breathing citizens who can and will cast ballots) don’t like Mr. Trump. In Arizona, on September 13, these voters favored Clinton by 68% to 18%.
In Florida the numbers were 53-29%.
Then again, these numbers were reported by an actual newspaper—the Washington Post—a part of a vast conspiracy to throw the election to Hillary Clinton. Hispanic voters really loved Trump—because Trump insisted they did. (Hispanic voters also went for President Obama in 2012 and did so in even greater numbers.)
Then, there’s more rigging—this time by Pew Research—to show that voters with a college degree or higher favor Clinton over Trump by 53-29%. (Obama won the same group, but only narrowly, four years ago.)
Let’s look at some more awful rigging! Fox News—Trump’s safe spot when he needs to cry on Sean Hannity’s shoulder—admitted Trump was unpopular with African Americans. In August, Clinton had 85% support among this demographic. Gary Johnson polled 7%.
Trump had 1%.
Again, the rigging has been “clear” for years. John Kerry, who lost in 2004, won 88% of the African-American vote. George W. Bush pulled 11%. In 2012 President Obama swept Mitt Romney aside with 93% of this vote.
So: no, Mr. TrumpRemember those glory days, Trump fans? Remember how, in just about every speech, Trump bragged about poll numbers?
Sure you do! In those days the polls weren’t rigged!
Well, then, when did the fix come in? Consider a few trends that bode well for Hillary Clinton. For some reason, Hispanic voters (not illegal immigrants—but actual living, breathing citizens who can cast ballots) don’t seem to like Trump. In Arizona, for example, on September 13, these voters favored Clinton by 68% to 18%.
In Florida the numbers were 53-29%.
Then again, these numbers were reported by an actual newspaper—the Washington Post—just a part of the vast media conspiracy to throw the election to Clinton. Hispanic voters really loved Trump—because Trump said they did. (Oddly enough, Hispanic voters also went for President Obama in 2012, and did so in even greater numbers. So the polls must have been rigged then.)
Then, there’s more rigging—this time by Pew Research—to show that voters with a college degree or more favor Clinton over Trump by 53-29%. (Obama won the same group, but only narrowly, four years ago.)
Let’s look at some more awful rigging! Fox News—Trump’s safe spot whenever he needs to cry on Sean Hannity’s shoulder—admitted Trump was unpopular with African Americans. In August, Clinton had 85% support from this demographic. Gary Johnson polled 7%.
Trump got 1%.
Again, the rigging has been “clear” for many years. John Kerry, who lost in 2004, won 88% of the African-American vote. George W. Bush pulled 11%. In 2012 President Obama swept Mitt Romney aside with 93% of this vote.
(Trump does, however, seem to have the KKK vote locked down.)
How about women? John Kerry narrowly won with American women, 51-48% in 2004, but lost by a slightly larger margin among men. Obama won the female demographic 56-44% in 2008 and 53-44% in 2012. (Damn rigged voting numbers!) Maybe the GOP could do better if they started supporting equal pay for women, came up with an actual health care plan to replace Obamacare if they do manage to win, and stopped insisting women who are raped have to carry any pregnancy that results to term. Republicans have been losing with women for years—and the Trump “outreach” plan isn’t helping.
Bragging about grabbing pussy isn’t exactly a strategy to win.
How rigged are the polls? Apparently, very, very, bigly rigged. Last December 59% of American women had an unfavorable opinion of Trump. By March 2016 that number had ballooned to 73%. You could argue loudly—and Donald Trump always does—that all these numbers are rigged; but the same kind of polls consistently report Hillary Clinton’s own problems. Clinton is the second most-disliked major party candidate ever to run for president. Rigged poll after rigged poll, by the dozen all this year, has shown Clinton with a negative “favorability” rating. Current results average out to 43% favorable, 52% unfavorable.
You can look it up.
This proves something, of course—in the confused thinking of Donald Trump and his confounded fans—that he absolutely has to be winning!
Only the same polls show the tangerine-colored candidate to be the most disliked candidate in American history. His negative favorability marks are even worse. Currently, 35% of the American people view him favorably.
His “unfavorable” mark is 61%.
Consider the sheer stupidity of this entire Trumpian position. Polling data from Arizona indicates Trump has a narrow 1 point lead over Clinton, as of today. Similar polls showed Mitt Romney would win that state easily four years ago—and he did, 54-44%. The polls that show Trump narrowly leading today show John McCain (not a hero!!!!) up by 16 points on his Democratic challenger. The numbers in Ohio are similar, indicating how poorly the polls are rigged by Democrats and the media and various left-wing body snatchers.
The most recent poll of Ohioans shows Trump up 1 point, 42-41%. But the trend of the five most recent polls shows Clinton up 1.6.
Meanwhile, Senator Rob Portman, a Republican running in the same battleground, is winning with ease. If the election were today, Portman would clobber his opponent, Ted Strickland, by 16 actual mathematical points.
You can find ample proof that the polls aren’t rigged, if you keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut.
In Florida, “Little Marco” is polling ahead of his opponent. Rubio is up 5. When Donald Trump is involved, polls go back to being rigged, and he’s down 4.
The “rigging” is even worse if we dare turn to FiveThirtyEight, perhaps the most highly respected polling website. Here Nate Silver has Trump trailing nationally by 6.8 points. (Silver called all fifty states correctly in 2012, whereas the talking heads at Fox News got it almost all wrong.)
Even more ominously, for fans of Trump—who apparently hate percentages as much as they hate taxes (not that Trump actually pays), Kenyan Obama and Crooked Hillary—Silver believes polls show Clinton ahead in every one of ten main battleground states.
Rigged polls? Really?
As recently as July 30, Silver had Trump slightly ahead (briefly) and hanging close as late as September 26, the day of the first presidential debate, the day Trump turned in his “winning” performance. (This was followed up by Trump spending a week focusing on how fat a former Miss America really was.) Of course, Trump never admitted he lost the first debate—or lost the second. And if he said in this third debate on Wednesday that he planned to torture critics if elected, send political opponents to military trials in Guantanamo, have patriotic supporters beat up any protesters and bragged that he could get away with grabbing Rudy Giuliani’s wife’s crotch…well…his loyal fans would still love him.
The problem, however, for Trump fans is that there aren’t enough of them to form a majority in three weeks.
It’s not impossible that Trump can still win—because math is math—and it’s never over until the fat lady sings (probably an unfortunate analogy, considering Mr. Trump’s penchant for insulting American women)—but it’s highly unlikely.
If you don’t believe me, check the betting line in Las Vegas today. The odds makers say, 6-1, Hillary comes out ahead.
P. S. Elections are controlled almost entirely at the state level—polling places, early voting times and dates, absentee ballot notifications to voters, even whether or not felons can vote (in Ohio they can). In the following battleground states, Republicans would have to do the rigging since they control the state houses: Arizona, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Nevada, North Carolina, Ohio and Wisconsin.
And did anyone notice that when Democrats were “stealing” the last two presidential elections, and now a third, they somehow proved unable to steal off-year elections in 2010 and 2014 when the GOP took back control of both houses of Congress?
If Donald Trump loses this election—and, like Las Vegas bookies, I’m betting he will—he’s going to have no one to blame but himself.
The Democrats ran a flawed candidate and the Republicans had an excellent shot all along to win. Then Trump started shooting himself in the foot—and the ass—and last and certainly not least, right in the nuts.