Sunday, September 1, 2013

Ohio Charter Schools Suck: GOP Lawmakers Still Love Them

Here in Ohio we are blessed, I tell you, with a governor and lawmaking body that love charter schools. Why? Because our representatives love children? Because charter schools do a better job, measured by standards mandated by that very same lawmaking body?

Nope. Try again.

Here are how regular public schools measured up, with charter schools listed separately, in this year's state report card:


(CHARTERS IN RED, ABOVE.)

Well, then, do our GOP representatives love charters because they devote more resources to helping kids who need help?

Fat chance.


(CHARTERS IN RED, ABOVE.)

As the chart above shows charters tend to pay school founders and school leaders well for their less-than-stellar efforts. And why not? Isn’t education about profits?

What? You say it’s not?

Someone probably needs to break the news to David Brennan. Here in Ohio and elsewhere Brennan operates White Hat, a charter school chain, with almost fifty franchises. No, I mean schools. 

Brennan cares about dollars. No, no, I mean kids. That’s why he has a $6 million mansion down in Naples, Florida. Ha, ha, because Brennan cares about living in lux…no, about kids. In fact, he loves kids so much he is willing to go out of his way and host fund-raising dinners down in Florida for Ohio hard-working GOP politicians.

Another neat White Hat trick, when franchises...no, no, no...control your sarcasm...when schools fail...is to close them down and reopen them with cool new names, in the same buildings, with much the same staff, so that profits for Mr. Brennan are almost impossible to kill, kind of like zombies.

Kids. Sure. Brennan loves ‘em.

How to show this love? According to the Akron Beacon Journal this summer Brennan and his wife Ann contributed more than $3.8 million to fifty-one politicians between 2004 and 2012. Those who gained the most in these transactions?

Ohio’s school children.

Ha, ha! I’m joking!

Actually, the main beneficiaries included Ohio Senate President Keith Faber, Ohio House Speaker William Batchelder, the Republican Party—because no one loves kids more than the GOP (unless they need health insurance)—and, of course, good old Governor John Kasich, who never saw a fund-raising dollar within reach he didn’t want to grab.

It probably comes with his Wall Street background.

So, try again. Why do our leaders love charter schools?

Well, let’s just say they have 3.8 million reasons to love them—even if charter schools really, really, really, really suck.

You can’t say those  bought-and-paid-for legislators haven’t earned their money, though. When Brennan’s chief lobbyist sent lawmakers a list of changes his boss hoped to see in one school funding bill the Ohio General Assembly partially or fully implemented nine of eleven proposals Brennan had deemed “most important.”

As noted in a story by the Columbus Dispatch, Brennan did even more to help lawmakers do right by the children of the state: “Later, [his] lobbyists prepared actual legislative wording to carry out their requests. House staff members frequently checked with the lobbyists to make sure the evolving language and later amendments were acceptable.”

In fact, before you could click your ruby red slippers together three times and say, “Can I have some more campaign cash, please?” Tom Needles, White Hat’s chief lobbyist, was providing pre-written amendments to be included in the proposed legislation. 

Well, did it work—all this helping lawmakers—so that lawmakers could help Brennan—so  Brennan could help kids?

You bet it did. 

The Beacon Journal noted recently that under a new Ohio Senate proposal, charter schools in the state would see a $22 million increase in funding for this school year, even if enrollment did not change. 

Meanwhile most regular public schools—with less effective lobbyists—and less ready cash to dispense—were seeing cuts.

Hey, don’t worry, though. Here in Ohio the operators of charter schools…no, I mean, politicians…no, I mean, the school children...are doing great.


Addendum

A variety of sources can be consulted to verify statistics show in the graphs, including this article from the Columbus Dispatch.

Even better, these grades do not include the 150 Ohio charter schools that have closed in recent years for financial or academic reasons.

See:  Innovation Ohio for original graphs, including the on administrative spending.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

The Theory of Standardized Testing: Let's All Make Plastic Chairs?

(DOUBLE CLICK TO EXPAND.)

Here, in my opinion, is how the theory of standardized testing works:

1. Some people make bad furniture.

2. Some people make great furniture.

3. Therefore, people who have never made any furniture at all must be put in charge of designing new standards of cabinet-making.

Result: Great furniture makers are required to focus their efforts on making more and more plastic chairs.


I AM A RETIRED TEACHER. So, I no longer need to worry about the state of American education.

Still, I do.

It is my belief that reformers, mostly with good intentions, but always with little true understanding of what needs to be done to improve the nation’s schools are taking more and more control.

It is my belief that there are bad teachers—and we should do more to get rid of them.

It is my belief that most of America’s teachers are good; and I believe all good teachers are working extremely hard. (You can’t be good in this profession unless you sweat blood.)

It is my firm belief that standardized testing has done great harm to the process of true learning.

IF I AM RIGHT, IF YOU AGREE, what do we do?

WHAT DO WE DO?



I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN HEARING FROM OTHER TEACHERS; SEND ME AN EMAIL: VILEJJV@YAHOO.COM


(Double click on picture below and you can save it as a picture.)


Friday, August 23, 2013

Rock, Hammer, Common Core Curriculum: What's the Real Key?



What does a common claw hammer have to do with school reform? What does one humble tool have to do with Common Core Curriculum?

We know a student cannot complete a standardized test (and new ones are coming fast, tied to Common Core Curriculum) using a common claw hammer. A hammer is too hard to sharpen.

A hammer is but a tool. You have different kinds of hammers also. You have jack hammers for road construction, rock hammers for geologists, and the humble rock, recommended by nine out of ten satisfied Neanderthals.

A hammer is just a tool. If the hammer owner prefers he or she may let it lie idle in the bottom of the tool box. Or they might use it in some creative fashion. One can crack eggs with a hammer and stir them into pancake batter with the handle.

I don’t recommend it if you are happily married.

A hammer is what you make it. You can pound nails with it, pull them, or employ it as a doorstop. Three hammers would suffice if your hoped to build a stool. Two would be enough if you needed to settle a question of honor in a duel.

What does all of this have to do with education? Patience, please. I am busy with some stupid rhyming. A judge might use a hammer as a gavel. A convict might use it to turn big rocks into gravel. You can stop a burglar with a hammer. You can knock him out and keep an eye on him until the coppers take him to the slammer.

Okay...okay...enough.

Seriously, this is where education experts go wrong, so often, when discussion turns to “fixing schools.”
Experts focus on the tools. They promise, for example, that computers will revolutionize the learning process. They give seminars and advise teachers to swing their hammers in some bold new fashion. Worst of all, they spend their days drawing up blueprints and arguing with one another. One lays out his pet plan and says: “Teachers should build this palatial palace.”

A second insists, “No, they should build a mighty football stadium.”

A third balks and says, “No, teachers should construct a colony on the moon.”

In the end, as always, it’s left to teachers to swing their hammers.

Here, I think, is what every teacher knows. The hammer is not the key. Neither is the blueprint. Ah, the hammerer is the key.

If you have ever spent some time at the front of any classroom you know that you will have to hoist your hammer every day and pound the academic nails. You will pound all day and there will always be more nails to pound, and bent ones to be pulled and straightened. You will hit knots in wood and nails will go shooting off in wild directions. You know that wood will split at inopportune moments and you will often whack your thumb.

You know that you must keep on pounding.

You know, also, that your students must do their own hammering. Again, the hammer is not the key. Neither is the blueprint. And the “basics” of hammering represent only a rudimentary beginning. You understand that the key is instilling in students the desire to use their hammers, often employing them in novel and unexpected ways.

The key is convincing students—if they truly desire to gain a quality education—that they, too, must hammer long and hard and do it every day.

The experts miss this point.

They miss it because they rarely teach. They sit in offices and draw up blueprints for palaces and stadiums and colonies on the moon. They never pound a single nail. Teachers don’t expect much from them at this point. They’ve seen where all their expertise has led in recent years.

At this point, most teachers and their students would be happy if the experts did nothing more than stop getting in the way.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Experts for America: Like Teach for America, only Better!

(Dateline: Washington, D. C.) Today, for the second time in less than a month, the U. S. education establishment was rocked by stunning news (See:  NFL Adopts Common Core Playbook.) A secret committee of twenty-five veteran teachers, known as Project 98.6°, and working at the behest of President Barack Obama, today announced results of their deliberations.

Nancy Potts, spokesperson for the group, and a classroom veteran of nineteen years, announced a new federal initiative called “Experts for America.”

The program is to mirror “Teach for America.”

Speaking to a gathering of school reform experts, executives of companies hoping to increase their role in public school education, and concerned politicians hoping to extend their tenure in office, Potts noted that the time to solve the nation’s school crisis was now.

“All the big names in school reform will be involved,” she noted. “Bill Gates. Wendy Kopp, CEO of Teach for America. Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg.”

These remarks were met with thunderous applause.

“Every expert in this auditorium will play a role. Joel I. Klein, former chancellor of the New York City Public Schools, you will have a chance to teach. Richard Whitmire, acclaimed education author, Davis Guggenheim, producer of Waiting for Superman, Brent Staples, editorial writer for the New York Times. Yes, all of you will have a real chance to teach. Michelle Rhee—the most experienced expert among you, will be your mentor and a colleague.”

Potts had trouble stifling a laugh. 

Quickly, she turned the microphone over to another member of the secret group, Mr. Horace Mann, an Ohio middle school history teacher for the last twenty-four years.

“First, let me tell you what an honor it is to address you all,” Mann began. “Normally, I spend my time in a 25-by-25 foot room, surrounded by hormone-addled teens. Now, here I am, talking to the men and women who do all the talking about fixing America’s schools.

“When our group first met,” he added, “we began by asking, ‘What would be the best way to improve America’s schools?’

“We heard what you were saying. What we really needed, you all said, were better teachers. Mr. Staples, you have no idea how much you helped. When you reviewed Mr. Guggenheim’s movie, you wrote: ‘Public schools generally do a horrendous job of screening and evaluating teachers, which means that they typically end up hiring and granting tenure to any warm body that comes along.’

“That was when we decided to call ourselves Project 98.6°,” Ms. Potts interjected helpfully, again trying her hardest not to laugh.

Mann continued:  “Oh, yes. Mr. Bloomberg, we heard you too. When you said the biggest problem in education was teachers hired “from the bottom 20% of their [college] classes, and not of the best schools” we stood in awe of your brilliance. We listened to you all and suddenly it was clear. Who better to save the children than you here in this audience today?”

“So we came up with a plan: ‘Experts for America,’” Potts noted happily.

“With the aid of the Selective Service and approval from President Barack Obama,” Mann explained, “a new draft will now be instituted. All education experts between the ages of 23-75, all writers of books about education, all executives of companies profiting from ties to public schools, will be subject to call to active duty.”

“We know this may come to most of you as a shock. But you will be committing to work for ten years—minimum—in the toughest public schools. None of that sissy two-year stuff like ‘Teach for America.’” Mann smiled.

“Ten years…I mean…you are committed to saving kids? Right?

“Here are a few assignments we already know:  Mr. Gates, you will teach students with severe behavior disorders at Marvin Gardens High School in Seattle. You will be replacing a teacher who was assaulted last May and has not recovered from a broken nose and jaw.”

“No, no,” Gates was heard to shout from a front row seat. “You don't understand. My education foundation only dispenses advice...”

Mann’s face hardened. “You will do just fine. As for you, Mr. Klein and Mr. Bloomberg, you favored grading schools in New York City. It seems perfectly fitting, then, that you work with some of the 20,000 homeless children in your city. You’ll be evaluated on how they perform on standardized tests. Should they fail to make adequate yearly progress, you will be required to devote another year to ‘Experts for America,’ until you finally get it right.

“We need you, too, Mr. Guggenheim. You made a movie about five wonderful families, all of whom wanted the best education for their kids. You made fixing schools seem simple.

“Now you and Mr. Staples will have the chance. You will work at a special charter school, with children of parents who didn’t sign up for any lottery, who did not care about what school their kids attended. And trust me when I say, parent conferences are going to be great! You will work with the dad who threatened his daughter with an AK-47 when her grades were low. You will be charged with educating the older son of the man who stuck his six-month-old daughter in the freezer to stop her crying. You will teach a disabled boy, born ten years ago addicted to heroin because his single mother was (and still is) a drug abuser.

“You will have the chance to fix it all. And as a bonus, you will work with the son of the mother who chased the principal out of his school last spring. She was wielding a large butcher knife. That happened at my wife’s school.”

Guggenheim and Staples both looked stunned.

“Ms. Rhee, you are going back to D.C. to straighten out the mess in one of the schools where you handed out big cash rewards when standardized test scores dramatically improved—where cheating was soon shown to be rampant and wrong answers on test after test after test were erased. And you will be issued special pencils.”

“Yep, no erasers,” Potts interjected.

When Mann added that Whitmire would be drafted to work alongside Rhee—that Secretary of Education Arne Duncan would be assigned to a Chicago charter school, working only with teen gang members—that Kopp would be joining him—that executives from Pearson, the standardized testing-company, would be sent to Florida to teach in a high poverty school—howls for mercy filled the room.

“The time to turn hot air into action…IS NOW!” Ms. Potts shouted into the microphone. “And don’t worry. You’re all so smart!!! Besides, for the rest of us, watching you fix the schools will mean ten years of fabulous fun!”

Ms. Potts curtsied.

Mr. Mann bowed.

Both smiled broadly and exited from the stage.




Sunday, July 14, 2013

Finland Has Smarter Teachers!

Listen up, America’s public school teachers! It’s time to face facts. Finland has fantastic teachers. Finland’s teachers are great. Finland’s teachers are way smarter than you.

This teacher-intelligence-gap is serious business.

Haven’t you been paying attention! In 2010, in a competition involving fifteen-year-olds from around the world, Finland’s teens ranked first overall. In a test of reading, math and science they stomped our poor kids. By the time the tests ended America’s fifteen-year-olds looked like they had been run over by herds of angry reindeer.

Finland came in second in reading, second in math, first in science, and first in total score. (See chart below.) The United States placed 14th in reading, 25th in math, 17th in science and 14th overall.

Just look at that chilling chart—America’s failing teachers! What a disgrace! Our fifteen-year-olds were clobbered by the Canadians in reading. They were pummeled by the Poles in math. They were slaughtered by the Swiss in science. 

And just how do we explain this whole sordid mess? 


All figures for the 34 member nations of the
Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. (OECD)

In a recent New York Times editorial, Harvard associate professor Jal Metha set out to use his own giant brain and answer that question and made it clear that despite decades of school reform in the United States we were still missing the point.

What is the point you might well ask? Increasing poverty, maybe? Gangs and school shootings? Drugs? Fathers like the one who recently decided to stop his infant daughter from crying by sticking the baby in the freezer? Nope.

None of that.

According to Metha, high-scoring countries like Finland have smarter teachers—“drawn from the top third of college graduates, rather than the bottom 60 percent as is the case in the United States.” In other words the problems in our schools can be summed up in two words:

“Dumb educators.”

Well, excuse me for being obtuse. As a retired teacher, it may be I am too dimwitted to follow the logic of an esteemed Harvard professor. And for that matter he’s not alone in his criticism of American public school teachers. (See for example: Bloomberg, Michael R.)

Still, I do look at those scores from 2010 and wonder. Even the list is suspicious. No one seems to mention that sixty-five nations were actually tested. So: finishing 14th and 17th and 25th doesn’t seem quite as bad. Technically, it might also be less alarming if we noted that U. S. students tied for 12th in reading and beat the Germans, Spanish and French.

It might also have a calming effect if we asked: “Where are the most populous nations on this list? Where are Brazil and Egypt, Pakistan and Vietnam?

Fifteen of the top-20 most populous countries are absent from the chart.

Well then, what about Finland—with all those smart teachers—and 5.3 million people? Perhaps, comparing Finland and the United States isn’t exactly right. What if we focused on Wisconsin—with 5.7 million people—instead?

If you don’t mind digging into other reports from the OECD (“Education at a Glance: 2011”) a picture begins to form that is not nearly so grim. If we consider a chart showing percentage of students who have attained “upper secondary education” (roughly speaking, those who have graduated from high school), Finland drops to 9th place, with a minuscule lead over the United States.

We finish 12th out of 35 nations.

What happens if we drop some of our worst performing states (Alaska, Georgia and Oregon). If we then compare Finland and top-scoring states in the Union (or Finland and Wisconsin alone), Finland’s teachers suddenly don’t look so great.

Study OECD statistics a little more and a nuanced perspective begins to take form. Students from Australia, Belgium, the Netherlands and New Zealand outscored ours in reading, math and science. Nevertheless, all four nations end up graduating a lower percentage of those who enter their schools than does the United States (Same report, above, p. 32).

It’s a false construct, really, this idea that teachers in this country are so dumb, and critics and college professors need to calm down. Are we really going to say, based on these kinds of comparisons, that Hungarian math teachers are smarter than ours? Because if we do, we should note that Hungarian reading teachers are morons. Does Norway, by comparison with the United States, have smart reading teachers and dumb science instructors? Is that what the results from 2010 prove? Well, then, how about Israel’s pitiful educators? Those poor people must be drooling fools.

Or: the picture may not be as simple as the critics make it seem.


P. S.: The OECD reports that the U. S. has fallen to 16th in attainment of “tertiary education,” or % of students with college degrees. Still, in a ranking of thirty-six advanced nations, we remain ahead of Switzerland (18th), Finland (19th) and Germany (mired in 27th place).

If we follow the kind of logic used by Professor Metha, then we must assume his German counterparts are a pitiful collection of dolts.

*****
According to the OECD, one out of every four college graduates
in the world was produced here in the United States.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

NFL Adopts Common Core Playbook--Copying Education Reforms

(Washington, D. C.) In a surprise news conference today U. S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan and National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell announced plans to improve NFL performance in coming seasons.

Unlike news conferences on education, which draw sparse crowds, representatives from hundreds of newspapers, television and radio networks, and ESPN, ESPN 2, ESPN for Kids and ESPN Tales from the Crypt were in attendance.

Mr. Duncan spoke first. “We are pleased to announce a partnership involving the U. S. Department of Education and the NFL,” he explained. “We will call this new effort to improve pro football ‘Race to the End Zone.’ All the leading school reform experts insist this approach will dramatically improve the quality of football play.”

“Frankly,” Commissioner Goodell admitted, “this joint effort developed out of a concern for failing NFL franchises. We have watched the brilliant successes wrought by Mr. Duncan and others like him in recent years and believe it is time to adopt a variety of sports reforms, similar to school reforms, and introduce them in our league. We believe with such changes in place the Cleveland Browns can finally reach the Super Bowl and win.”

“We in the NFL love the Common Core Curriculum that Mr. Duncan is pushing on schools here in D. C. and in forty-five states,” Goodell continued. “Just as he believes Common Core Curriculum can save the schools, we believe a Common Core Playbook will save our struggling teams. Beginning with the 2013 season every coach and every team will use the same playbook.”

A collective gasp went up from the audience. “Does Bill Belichick know about this?” a reporter from ABC wondered.

An MSNBC reporter shouted from the fifth row: “Do you truly believe if all teams run the same plays they’ll all have the same success?”

“Of course,” Mr. Duncan interjected. “It’s going to work in education, too. I promise. And I went to Harvard. So you have to listen to me.”

“You don’t know anything about NFL football…” a Fox Sports Channel representative pointedly remarked.

“Yes, well, Mr. Duncan never taught school, either,” Goodell offered in lame defense. “And look at the fantastic job he’s doing fixing U. S. schools. Only $4.35 billion spent on ‘Race to the Top’ and scores on standardized tests are soaring.”

At this point, reporters could be seen shooting each other strange looks. Frankly, none of them paid the slightest attention to stories about American education. So, for all they knew, Goodell might be telling the truth.

“We believe with this system in place every player can succeed,” the Commissioner added. “By 2020 we believe every player in the league will be proficient in blocking, tackling and pass catching.”

“Are you saying that a new playbook—nothing more than diagrams on paper—will magically change the game?” a representative of local television station WJLA wanted to know.

“From now on every quarterback will be calling the same plays,” Goodell replied. “In other words, all of them will play like Tom Brady and Peyton Manning.

“Even Mark Sanchez?” asked a dubious correspondent from the New York Post.

“That’s the beauty of the Common Core Playbook,” Duncan explained. “We draw up new standards—kind of like we said we would do under No Child Left Behind—but this time the standards really work, because I promise they will. After all, I’m really smart. Did I mention that I went to Harvard? See: all the running backs run the same plays and all succeed the same way, because the coaches don’t try to design their own schemes.”

“Naturally, all defenses will be set up in the same way,” the Commissioner added.

A young lady standing in the back of the auditorium raised a hand. The Secretary called on her to state her question.

“I’m sorry. I’m not a sports person. I’m just a third grade teacher visiting the capitol on vacation. Are you saying that if all coaches follow the same plays and all players follow the same offensive and defensive plans this will guarantee success for every player and every team?”

“Yes…” Duncan began; but the teacher had more to say.

“Wouldn’t it be wiser to let the coaches design their plays? Aren’t coaches skilled in their field and doesn’t knowledge gathered over many years in the game count for anything? Don’t players have different strengths and weaknesses, so that coaches must tailor plans to meet their needs? Don’t players, themselves, have a dramatic impact on their own success or failure during the games and the success of their teams? No  playbook in the world would have saved Aaron Hernandez if he was truly intent on committing murder this past week. And I’ve heard Peyton Manning studies more game film than anyone else…”

By now, Duncan was shifting nervously from foot to foot at the podium where he stood. “Did I mention I went to Harvard? I think we experts can fix the NFL, just like we’re fixing the schools! Pretty soon, we’ll be like Finland, whose students rank #1 in reading and math whenever international competitions are held. Just listen to me and all the other school reformers. By the way, I went to Harvard, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“I don’t think that guy knows s$%# about football,” a sportscaster from Chicago could be heard telling the teacher.

“I don’t think he knows anything about education, either,” she nodded glumly. Unlike school reformers she had learned about helping students by actually helping students for many years. She already knew what worked in a classroom and understood that writing a bunch of standards had almost nothing to do with real success.

(Standards in education, she realized, were like diet advice. Losing weight boiled down to motivation in the end.)

She tried one last question: “Mr. Duncan, I know experts say Finland’s scores are high because they have better teachers. Do you think we should copy their system in other ways? For example, their schools have no sports teams and focus entirely on academics. Might we copy them in that respect? Might we do away with organized sports in our schools?”

At that point pandemonium ensued, with shouting ESPN reporters and fainting sports columnists, and Goodell looking aghast. A Fox Sports correspondent jumped on stage and tried to wrestle the microphone away before Secretary Duncan could posit an answer. No one in the audience could even fathom the idea.

Insanity, surely, putting academics first—and right here in America, too!

The teacher smiled at the irony and exited from the room.




Here’s how Common Core Playbook will work: 
All teams will use identical plays.
Coaches' and players' strengths and weakness 
will no longer be paramount.
Written standards of play are clearly the key—
just as it now is in U. S. education.
It’s not “how you play the game.”
It’s a bureaucrat’s dream of how you play the game.




This is satire only; but real teachers know this is how dumb our leaders in education reform actually are

******

If you liked this post, you might like my book about teaching, Two Legs Suffice, now available on Amazon. 

My book is meant to be a defense of all good teachers and an explanation of what they can do, and what they cannot be expected to do without help.

Two Legs Suffice is also about what students, parents and others involved in education must also do if we want to truly enhance learning.








Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A Perfect Mesh of Common Core Curriculum and New Technology in the Classroom


A Greek temple of knowledge!
Somehow Socrates, Plato and Aristotle managed without Common Core.



We visit a typical American classroom in the not too distant future:

April 1, 2025:  Two highly paid consultants, one from Wireless Generation, a leading company in the sale of education software, the other from Pearson, a major player in the testing industry, are seated in the back of John Galt’s seventh grade American history class. Neither consultant has ever taught. Yet they are here to assess how new technology, guaranteed to boost standardized test scores and company profits, is functioning. Did we just say, “Boost test scores and company profits?”

We meant: “To enhance true learning.”

Several surveillance cameras, all set to follow Galt’s every move, are running in the room. This is part of the push to improve schools by holding teachers totally accountable. Because, let’s face it. The only person who matters in the room is the teacher.

That’s what school reformers like to say.

In this class every child has a computer—purchased from Amplify, a division of Wireless Generation. (Corporate motto: No Dollar Left Behind.) Galt and his students are hooked to a series of electrodes. Today, the class is trying to hold a discussion about the battle for women’s rights in the 1800s.

“Mr. Galt,” a student named Dagney inquires, “I’ve been wondering. Who were the leaders in the fight for equality?”

“One would be Susan B. Anthony,” Galt responds gingerly. He consults his computer to be sure Anthony is specifically mentioned in the Common Core Curriculum. She is. “Susan B. Anthony may be on the standardized test,” Galt says. “The other leader, who will not be on the test, would be Eliz…”

Before he can finish his sentence the electrodes attached to his scalp deliver a powerful shock. The smell of singed hair fills the room.

(He was going to say: Elizabeth Cady Stanton.)

Every student receives a flashing red warning on their screen:  DANGER! MATERIAL NOT INCLUDED ON STANDARDIZED TEST! DANGER!

A voice similar to HAL, the deranged computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey, delivers the message verbally, as well.

Joaquin, seated in the desk closest to the door waits for Galt to recover. He raises a hand to add to the discussion. “I can’t understand why women weren’t granted equal rights when the U. S. Constitution was first written. My grandmother told...”

The poor boy should have known better!

A loud buzzing noise, followed by Joaquin’s spastic jerking, and another computer warning, teaches Joaquin and all his curious classmates an important lesson. If it can’t be tested…it isn’t education.

Carolyn wants to know:  “What year did women finally win the right to vote?”

ZAPPPPPP. Another shock for a foolish student. Again, computers flash the warning:  DANGER! MATERIAL NOT INCLUDED ON STANDARDIZED TEST! DANGER!

Galt wants to answer. He wants to say “1920,” and note that his mother was in kindergarten by the time men got around to deciding that women were capable of voting. He wants to say to the girls in the room, “Just think. In all the long centuries of human history the dumbest man walking the face of the earth had more rights than any woman.” Galt used to use this line—before Common Core—and remembers how it always riled up the ladies and got them interested. But now he knows if it’s not on the test, it doesn’t matter. Considering that Ohio enacted laws in 2013 to tie teacher pay to test scores, maybe it’s for the best. Still, he’s a professional. He wants his kids to learn.

“It wasn’t just women who couldn’t vote,” he says. “Poor white men.…”

That’s as far as he gets. Another shock is administered and Galt jumps where he stands like a fish on an electrified line.

He’s a stubborn man where learning is involved. He tries again, disguising his reply: “No vote. Pale skin. Poor…” ZAPPPPPP. The computer gets wise to what he’s up to and delivers a jolt.

The consultant from Pearson makes a note: “May need to increase voltage.”

Perhaps in his confusion, Galt forgets where he is—in a modern U. S. classroom—with all the reforms of recent years welded firmly into place. He forgets he’s expected to follow what is virtually a script. He is going to tell students that in the summer of 1964, Congress debated a massive civil rights bill designed to guarantee equal treatment to people of all races, religions, and ethnic backgrounds. He is going to explain that Representative Howard W. Smith from Virginia stepped forward to block the legislation. Smith feared a world in which blacks might win equal rights. (Galt is also thinking he may bring up the Loring v. Virginia case, which overturned state laws against interracial marriage three years later.) So Smith devised a clever ruse to derail the bill. He suggested on the floor of the House that the word “sex” be added to the bill.

Surely, he imagined, no sane person could vote for a bill which granted equal rights to blacks and women! 

Galt is going to tell this story because he thinks it reveals the ludicrous nature of prejudice in all its forms. He tries to get it out by talking fast—telling the story at preternatural speed—and the cameras and electrodes and the computer are baffled for precious seconds. He gets in “summer of 1964” and “Howard W. Smith” but when he mentions the word “sex” the system catches up and gives him a mighty shock.

When the smoke round his head clears Galt sees a brave seventh grader in the front row put up a hand. The boy wants to ask a question about gay marriage and discrimination. But he decides it’s not worth the risk and lowers his hand.

Galt tells the class he needs to sit. You know: recover his wits. He consults his materials, prepared over the course of forty-five years in the classroom, and tries to figure out what he’s allowed to cover. He has a lengthy reading prepared on the fight for women’s rights—but realizes that on a standardized test there won’t be more than a single question on this topic. Should he include extra material? If his classes learn—but what they learn isn’t tested—does that count as learning?

If someone asks a question in the forest and the tree falls on his head and no one hears the answer does it matter?

Isn’t that how the riddle goes?

Maybe there’s still some way to slip this reading past the Common Core censors. He knows, over the years, that students have always found it interesting.

It reads in part:

The ideal woman [in the 1800s] was a wife and mother. And wives must be content within this sphere. One expert on women—a man, by chance—argued that bed-making was “good exercise.” He continued:  “There is more to be learned about pouring out tea and coffee than most young ladies are willing to believe.”

“A woman is a nobody,” one newspaper commented. “A wife is everything.”  

The handout Galt has always used continues in that vein for ten pages. One writer compares men to elm trees and women to ivy vines. They need a man to lean on for support. The husband controls all property, including his wife’s paycheck (if any). Judges uphold the right of husbands to beat their wives for nagging.

A Massachusetts judge does order a husband not use a stick any bigger around than his thumb!

At this point—in an era before standardized everything, standardized tests, standardized texts, standardized humanity—Galt would have illustrated the point by picking up his pointer and whipping it through the air. The “whooshing” noise would make it clear how much damage a rod of similar thickness might do.

Now, Galt knows better. Too much depth. Depth has nothing to do with Common Core Curriculum. Depth of knowledge can’t be tested.

He remembers how he used to tell classes about the writer in 1850, who compared men to elm trees and women to ivy vines, in need of a man to lean on for support. Without a man the woman was doomed to fall in the dust.

The girls who played sports always laughed at that story…but again, it’s not going to be on any Pearson test.

No sense telling it now.

Then Galt thinks about all the damage fools who claim to be fixing education do and it makes him angry to the core. (Irony intended.) Like all good teachers, he has dedicated himself to imparting all the knowledge as can. He is determined to broaden today’s discussion. He will tell his classes how it was for women in this country even in the 1960s and 70s. He will explain how his old high school tried to start a girl’s track team in 1967, and how everyone thought the idea was absurd. Only two girls showed up for tryouts. Galt will emphasize how much attitudes—what we think we can do and what we think we cannot do—shape lives. He believes this is a lesson he can impart to students. He feels it in his bones.

He feels the lesson matters.

They will discuss the idea that women were once considered too delicate to run long distances. He will throw out the example of Paula Radcliffe, who set the record for women in 2003, running the London Marathon in 2 hours and 15 minutes, a pace of 5:09 per mile. He will circle back again to the idea that women are weak like ivy vines.

He thinks he can plant a seed, hint to all the girls that they should take on any challenge…and Galt will make it clear the same attitude equally applies to boys.

“When I was in high school,” he begins.

ZAAAAP.

“They said girls were too weak.…”

ZAAAAAAAAAAP!

“Paula Radcliffe.…”

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

Student computers are now blinking wildly:  DANGER! NON-STANDARDIZED LEARNING! EVILTEACH! HORRORKNOWLEDGE! ACADEMICKILL! DANGER! DANGER!

By now Galt is prone on the floor. He looks bad. He raises his head slightly and gasps. “Women…not…ivy vines.…”

ZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!

The consultants shoot each other knowing looks. The Pearson rep makes a note to include one question on the standardized test about Susan B. Anthony. After all, you want the tests to align with the Common Core Curriculum.

Oh hell, who cares! Pearson is making hundreds of millions of dollars annually designing more and more standardized tests.

The consultant from Amplify is happy, too. Galt is out cold. Now the kids have no choice but to rely on their computers for some warm student-machine interaction.

It’s U. S. education for the future.

Somehow this image seems more fitting when we talk about
school reform today.